Holocaust – The Final Solution

Holocaust – comes from the Greek word: "holos" (completely) and "kaustos" (burned sacrificial offering), but I don’t intend the same meaning now. It is far more horrifying than this.
Just before the onset of World War – II history witnessed the largest gruesome mass genocide. I am talking of the destruction of the large Jew population along with gypsies, homosexuals, Soviet POWs, and prisoners of all nationalities.

Train loads of unaware innocent people were brought to concentration camps. Unaware of their destiny, these people were told that they were being taken for a disinfecting bath and in turn were streamed into large gas chambers where they were killed in a matter of a couple of minutes. This is not all, there are many more atrocious evildoings that the Nazi’s inflicted upon them.

I had been to one such evil place during my recent trip to Europe – Auschwitz concentration camp in the outskirts of Krakow - the old capital of Poland.

From the heart of Krakow, we took a local transport bus to Oshwiecim, which is the polish town where the Auschwitz camps were located. When I saw it from a distance, it looked like red brick factory houses rowed in a vast barren land. Till that time I did not know what was in store inside.

When I walked inside the iron gates of the premises, I could already sense a strange sadness in the air. Everything there appeared still and lifeless. Gravel sand pathways were there with black notice boards indicating what is what. I wish I could publish a couple of the notices here on the blog, but I don’t yet have the pictures with me.

There are somewhere around 14 blocks in the area. Each block had an evil story to tell. Children, women, the aged, the diseased – everyone was subjected to an unbelievable level of torture – so much that dying seemed to have been a better alternative. To site some of the horrendous tortures, there were doctors who used to perform medical experiments of unimaginable horror on men, women and children. One such cruel doctor was Dr. Josef Mengele. Starting from experiments like performing operations and dissections without administrating anesthesia, to injecting chemicals into the eye of children in an attempt to change their color, to stitching twins together back to back just like Siamese twins and leaving the wound unprotected. There is a record which says that the mother of two such unfortunate children could not tolerate seeing her kids cry in pain and to free her children from this suffering, she stole some morphine from the clinic and killed them by over dosing them. The thought itself runs chills down my spine – it is so difficult to imagine the pains of the people trapped in the cruel place and punished for nothing that they had done. And to add to the cruelty, all this was done by first pampering the little children with candies and clothes. Can you imagine that the ignorant children used to happily shout ‘Uncle Mengele’ when they used to see him coming towards them with candies and goodies.. Unknown of what this undeserving uncle would do with them, they used to go with him in his personal car or in cars labeled with Red Cross to his death laboratory in Block 10 of Auschwitz and get subjected to dreadful treatments. You must be thinking that these scientists must have been crazy psychopaths, but this is not true either, there are reports which say – “….. Josef Mengele and the other camp doctors - masterminds of the horrors of Holocaust - were found to be psychologically normal. They were men of fine standing, cultured, husbands who morning and night kissed their wives, fathers who tucked their children into bed ...” .

That’s not all, there used to be roll call sessions of the inmates which would last for days and the people were not allowed to move for the entire duration – many people supposedly died during this wait. People who tried to escape were subjected to torture along with his/her entire family in the courtyards – so that no one else dared to run away.

There is a room in one of the blocks which have a whole dump of the personal belongings of the inmates. Things like toothbrushes, combs, feeding bottles, shoes – they are heaped there and they yell back at us asking us of their fault. Why did they have to meet a destiny as terrifying as that.

After WW1 in 1920, Adolf Hitler joined the National Socialist German Workers Party known as the Nazis. He called for all the Germans from all over Europe to unite and form a strong central government and fight for the cancellation of the Versailles Treaty. He reserved the brunt of his vituperation for the Jews, whom he portrayed as responsible for all of the problems and evils of the world, particularly democracy, Communism, and internationalism, as well as Germany's defeat in the War(WW1). Jews were the German nation's true enemy, he wrote. As such, they were not a race, but an anti-race. His hatred of the Jews was always known, but it took this ugly face soon after he empowered Austria. And from 1933 onwards, till about early 1940’s around a total of 6 million Jews, Gypsies, Blacks, Homosexuals, Communists and others were killed. Once a population of a couple of millions, the number of Jews have been reduced to a couple of thousands.

If you are thinking that this is something of the past and not being done now, then think again. Similar treatment is being levied onto people of Baghdad, Afghanistan, Iraq and other Middle East countries by none other than American troops. Saddam was labeled as cruel, look at what better America is doing. In fact it is shameful and surprising that how America is engaging itself in terrorist activity under the veil of reform and purification. All of this is really happening and how easily we pass judgments about wrong and right and who deserves what. A couple of days back I had a discussion with a couple of my colleagues and I was surprised to see that they are moving with the masses without exercising their ability to think and love. Without even having to face a personal attack they have such strong views about a community. Studies show that out of the entire community population, only 5% of its people are involved in extremist activities, and we should understand this and not penalize the rest of the 95% of the population because of them. Its important to remember that what we give reflects and comes back to us.

For long I thought why is there so much of hatred in the hearts of people. How do people gather enough courage to kill the innocent? Today, 3 out of 100 accused in the 1993 Mumbai Blasts have been announced a death sentence. The 7 serial blasts in Mumbai which took almost a thousand innocent lives and unaccounted loss of property and livelihood, was it all worth it? Why is it that terror spreaders justify their evil doing as a cause of something else? Was the Babri Masjid demolition worth the aftermaths it had caused? People can’t understand the value of life and keep looking for a reason to hate one another. It is so difficult to break free from the bonds of hatred? Is it so difficult to love? Someone needs to stop. And it is not a shame to be the first one to take the little step of brotherhood.

Perspective

As a teenager, I remember doing this exercise at a summer camp in which the team was shown a picture (a geometrical design) and were asked to share what they thought it could be. Alongside is the picture that was given to us. And I remember imagining this to be : 1. An poached egg . 2. A top view of a dancing girl :) and.. 3) An eclipse and 4) A tyre.. .. You tell me, what comes to your mind..

Mausam

Yeah I had planned to write about auschwitz . But right now I don’t feel like :) .. In fact I feel like talking of good things -- :) The weather is really nice this evening :) .. Feel like taking a walk in the lonely roads of IIT Powai and taking the little trek to the hill there.. taking deep breaths while watching Mumbai from the height. I desire to feel the wind touch my face make its way thru my hair :) .. And if i can get a little floaty floaty with you know what .. :) .. The thought itself is making me feel nice..

Auschwitz

I want to desparately write about this place called auschwitz in Poland.. Have alot in mind.. Maybe by next week, i will be able to find some time for this ..

Tallest and Shortest

I am sure, you know one. The other one is called Kitti's hog-nosed bat. Doesnt really look cute but how much can actually fit in 1.2 inches :)

Wonderful animated film

This is an animation film showing how Italy, inspite of being a part of the European Union, is dictinctly different from the rest of Europe. I have not been to Italy ever .. maybe I would have liked the place :)

Look who is listening :)

Europe and Me

Ever since I was half way through my recent vacation (well, only if I can call it a real one), I had this desperate urge to blog, i was literally wishing if i could lay my hands on a computer .. And when I did get one in Slovenia, I hired it for 3 Euros for a half an hour slot, and by time I finished checking all my emails, the session timed out.

I travelled from south Europe to the central Europe moving towards the west and finally to the European island (UK). And if I have to sum my feedback in one word, I would just like to say that it is 'Bland'.

At first sight Europe looks beautiful, particularly the country side. I was staying in the bay region of Slovenia and that place looked as if a scene from Cinderella had suddenly come alive -- beautiful small wooden houses with bright flowers peeping out from the balconies.. Trees all around, wooden benches scattered in plenty, little ponds with sparkling water, wine yards and the soft sunshine. Completely picturesque. I was there for 3 days. I would say, I liked the place. Then I moved north to Wien (Vienna, Austria), was not in the center of the city -- slow moving traffic, curvaceous buildings all around -- all huge crème n gold colored, the city center square, Mozart statues every where, busy people walking around in haste -- and then is when I realized that I am not liking where I was. I was thinking that that the place could be beautiful, clean with a great infra structure and connectivity, clean roads, everything in place, the law and order seemed perfect but then there was something so obviously missing. It appeared so unnatural and plastic to me. Who would want to be in a place where you need to wait for the traffic light to turn green so that you could cross the road even when you see that there is no sign of any running engine -- everything is so mechanical -- there were cycles securely parked for the public to use -- but the catch is that all you see is a box which would ask you to swipe your credit card, but no one to explain the terms and conditions -- I might sound like a 70 yr old person who is still skeptical about using an ATM to draw cash, but that is where we come from.. Let’s face it, a man less gas station (petrol pump, as we call it here), is not something I am comfortable about. Getting into the tube (metro) / bus / tram and paying thru the funny looking machines there.. I just think that it’s not just about the mechanical style of living which had put me off, it was may be also my rigidness and resistance to change and the people who I felt did not radiate warmth.

Just like its not enough to have four walls and a ceiling to make a home, same way, a well maintained infrastructure is not enough to make a city beautiful – I think the most important entity of a city is its people – and I was not happy being there.. I may be wrong, because you may argue that I might not have met too many people or, I did not stay long enough, but then I do believe that a place filled with compassion radiates energy and I was thinking about how Indians would react to foreigners, per me, I think most of the Indians are nice to outsiders (Indians as well as foreigners), we can see that even when we move within the country (for instance when I moved from Delhi to Bangalore or, Delhi to Mumbai). There was a young man I met in the bus on my way to UK from Belgium. The bus driver was a hilarious man – I was rolling laughing at the remarks he kept making on the speaker off and on.. Ok, coming to the point, we were stopped just before we were about to enter the English Channel for the immigration check & visa stamping. The driver warned us against the French guys saying that they were difficult and he advised us to ‘hug them, kiss them and if required, sleep with them’ to get through the interview and baggage check with less hassles :). So we (all the passengers) were kind of ready for a nightmare, and we queued up in the rectangular room like they show how prisoners of jail wait for grub. The man in front was the same person I was talking of a little while back. He was from Albania, and as expected, the French police was acting nasty to him – then was my turn, and the I was treated the same was, bombarded with questions, one of them asked where in UK was I going, and I said ‘Northolt in MiddleSex’, he asked me to repeat Middlesex some 4 times -- he asked me to do that while the 3 other cops sat there giggling -- i thought it was cheap humor, then he made me open all my baggage and checked the luggage really well -- just like they show in movies(I wish the Indian cops could do half of what they do..).. Anyway, the matter of fact is that we (my family) and that Albanian were the only people who did not belong to France/ Brussels/ UK and who were interviewed the longest and whose luggage was raped. The Albanian fellow told us that the French hated Albanians. And so seemed to be true for Indians and the Africans.
The same kind of thing happened when I was on my way to Krakow (Poland) from Vienna (Austria) by Euro Rail. The polish cops came with an Alsatian dog who went around sniffing us (the dog was wearing a jacket which read ‘Narcotic Detection’). This was not all, the same team (the same polish cop and the same dog) came knocking violently at our train cabin door at around 3am in the morning and repeated the checks -- re checked our passports and of course the dog did his job!! If you look at it, the security is great but then why was this happening only with outsiders, and why did this have to happen twice? I wonder if cops here behave the same way.

Apart from all this, I would also want to talk about my uncle who stays in UK. My uncle and his wife had moved to London 40 year back with a vision of giving a good life to their children and also to themselves. Now when I look at them, I feel sad. Both their children are grown ups (38 yrs old and 27 yr old) – they are staying separate and come to see their aging and ill parents only when their parents call them and if by co incidence they have time. Of course it was not bluntly put that way to me – but that was very apparent in the way that they behave with their children. They are all alone – hardly any social life, both of them have retired from work and are not in good health, but have got so used to that place that they cant even break free from the arrangement. They kept talking of how nice they feel there and how comfortable it is to stay in a high tech place like theirs, but in all their conversations I could just sense a strange effort by which they are convincing, justifying, condoling and reassuring themselves that they are in a good position and that they are happy. My Aunty almost treats herself like a British and that bugged me a couple of times – especially when she went around complaining about India and when she asked me things like ‘Do you have English style toilets in India – a W.C to be precise..’ .. I mean what the fuck.. What does she think about India!! Not that she hasn’t been here ever since she left, in fact if I am not mistaken, I think she was in India last year itself. Imagine, if Indian still hold this view about India, why should we complain and feel bad when people of other nationalities still think of India to be a land of snake charmers, black magic, bullock carts and over crowded matadors.

It is sad that people are unaware that India is advancing, it is witnessing a growth of 8.6% in its last years GDP and for this quarter the rate is 9.4%. India and china would soon be a superpower. Studies prove that by 2020, there will be 3 superpowers in the world, 1. US, 2. China and 3.India. Even today India is no less than any other place in the world. Considering the constraints of its size, population and history (India being under British rule), India is advancing at a high rate. Even today, India is the place where there are the maximum numbers of people who can speak English; India is the place where multi nationals come to get specialized as well as unspecialized labor. The mall concept, high tech flyovers, underground metro, state of the art airports.. Just about everything is being developed. The problem of India is in the reform state – it is the penetration of these amenities to the whole of India is a matter of concern and that is where we are lacking – and this is primarily because of the numbers and the after affects of what the british colonization did to us. But by talking about this the NRI’s, Indians or even outsiders are doing no help. Especially the affluent NRI’s, they are escaping their duty as Indians for getting a more comfortable life for themselves and then sitting over drinks and coffee and acting like concerned Indians.

I am actually a little lost now – wonder what I had set out to write. Will just end this with a happy note by writing about the attribute I liked the best. At a party I met a couple of learned men and got an opportunity to speak to them (actually it was a world congress of IPMA) and there were a couple of things I observed, a) Indians are much smarter than Europeans (I guess to Americans as well). b) Even Europeans happily accept, joke and fear a blond woman behind wheels  and, c) The Europeans are quite direct and open while conversing – Imagine there was this French man with whom I was talking, and towards the end of the conversation, he asked me if he could kiss me (don’t start having ideas, it was just a peck on the cheek)..

So, by what Buddha says, there are three ways of learning – 1) By reading, 2) By Listening and 3) By experience. And he has also stated that the most supreme way of learning by the third method. So, you may want to visit these places yourself and see how you feel about it. Actually maybe my perception of the place also reflects the kind of person I am and so your views may be distinctly different from mine.. But then again who says we have to think alike!

Wo-men

I was reading this book called “The Second Sex” by great feminist Simone de Beauvoir and I was surprised to know that learned people like Aristotle had said that : "The female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities; we should regard the female nature as afflicted with a natural defectiveness."

I wonder how these people managed to get respect and acceptance in the society by large. Aristotle seems like such a big misogyny. Yuk !!

Men with like views should be made to live in isolation or for that matter in an island of only men – and then maybe they would know what is it about being a woman – that its not merely about a uterus – there is a larger picture.

On second thoughts, if I really sit to dramatize this entire thing, i would like to say a couple of things, did anyone notice that even in English, 'Wo' had been prefixed with 'man' to get 'Woman' :).. Sounds Clichéd and duh!! Hmm.. Not that any of these learned and wise men are saying some great things :D. And the other equally duh thing i want to say is (actually i read this somewhere): "First Nature thought of creating its biggest wonder, then he created man. Later he looked at it again and said he could do a better job, and then he created Woman" :) .. What pleasure it gives me <|:D.

Before men make comments like this on women, I guess are unaware of the essence a woman holds within herself. More surprising is the fact that there are so many women who take this thoughtless and absurd judgment about them.



Read this article below, made me damn angry::

The Inferior Sex
In ancient Greece, Aristotle expounded on the "natural inferiority" of women in all spheres of activity. "The female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities," he wrote. "We should regard female nature as afflicted with a natural defectiveness."[16]

The Renaissance in England -- an era when women reigned as queens -- was characterized by a spate of diatribes which employed the concept of female inferiority as a foundation for castigating the "unnatural" and "monstrous" phenomenon of the female ruler. Political reformer John Knox's The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstrous Regiment of Women (1558) was a "declaration of the imperfections of women, of their natural weakness and inordinate appetites." A sampling of its many degrading references include: "the inferior member," "weak, frail, impatient, feeble, and foolish," "in her greatest perfection woman was created to be subject to man" and "all woman is commanded to serve, to be in humility and subjection."[17]

During the same period in English history, the acceptance of female inadequacy served as a basis for the subordination of women in the marital relationship. From 1562 onwards, the British Crown directed that The Homily on Marriage be read in church. This statement portrayed the woman as "a weak creature" who was "prone to all weak affectations and dispositions of mind, more than men be."[18] In 1619, a guide to proper conduct in marriage offered the following advice to wives: "Set this down with thyself: mine husband is my superior, my Better; he hath authority and rule over me; nature hath given it to him . . . . God hath given it to him."[19]

The notorious Marquis de Sade, who in the second half of the eighteenth century terrorized and brutalized scores of female victims to satisfy his insatiable appetite for violent and degrading sex, resorted to the most demeaning terminology when referring to women. He called woman "a puny creature, always inferior to man, infinitely less attractive than he, less ingenious, less wise, constructed in a disgusting manner entirely opposite to what is capable of pleasing a man, to what is able to delight him."[20] This imagery dominated his perceptions and constituted a major factor in motivating his abominable behavior.

Various authors, thinkers, and philosophers are found in the forefront of endowing the vocabulary of female inadequacy with considerable respectability. Joseph Addison, a prominent English author during the latter 1600s and early 1700s, thought women "incapable of logic and not amenable to reason."[21] The phrases "no sense of justice," "defective in the powers of reasoning and deliberation," "that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race" and "the unaesthetic sex" comprise just some of the many derogatory characterizations of women in German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer's "Essay on Women" (1851).[22] These views led him to the conclusion that "they [women] form the sexus sequior -- the second sex, inferior in every respect to the first" and are "by nature meant to obey."[23]

A milestone in the relentless war of words against women came in the work of another German philosopher, Otto Weininger. His Sex and Character (1906) represents one of the most extreme defamations of female character ever published: On imagination -- "women are devoid of imagination." On memory -- "A being whose memory is very slight, and who can recall only in the most imperfect fashion." On morality -- "with regard to women we can talk only of the non-moral, of the complete absence of a moral sense." On genius -- "the female must be described as absolutely without the quality of genius . . . . A female genius is a contradiction in terms." On thinking--"a woman is without logic . . . The absolute female, then, is devoid not only of the logical rules, but of the functions of making concepts and judgments which depend on them."[24]

Weininger's assaults on female capability knew no boundaries: "However degraded a man may be, he is immeasurably above the most superior woman." As the result of a "long analysis," Weininger asserted: "There is no exception to the complete absence in women of any true, inalienable relation to worth."[25]

Listening??

What do I have to do to get your attenton ?

Take out an ad in the newspaper??

Is'nt it Ironic

The darkest hour of the night is just before the dawn breaks, but then sometimes the sun just forgets to rise.

Just when you think you are safe, you get hurt in places where you least expect to.

Is funny but its true that we hardly know the road on which we travel everyday.

It’s ironic that when you acquire that one thing that you craved for since a long time, you don’t need it anymore.

It happens so often that you never find what you are looking for in the most probable places.

Though unfortunate, but the person you madly love doesn’t love you back.

You just almost always fall short by just an inch.

In spite of knowing that the most precious of relations can not be defined, we spoil the beauty of it by trying to name it.

Is it not incorrect to expect life to be simple when we ourselves can’t help but let our heads behave the way it does – completely absurdly complex..

“A No Smoking sign, on your cigarette break.” : )

Do I need a title everytime I blog :(

Heard its snowing in New York. I love the snow. Dec 2005 I saw snow in the hills of Himalayas, but never witnessed a snow fall. Would like to stay in a cold place for some time. :) ..

I used to always wonder why people in India are so excited about US and living/visiting abroad. I never was and still am not. Because of papa, we have had many opportunities to go vacationing abroad, but I was never interested, and so I never used to go. The money / lifestyle / picturesque but very plastic beauty – all that never excited me. My carefree nature may be a subtle but strong, consequence of the economic security I have because of my family. But I have great respect for people who have struggled in their lives. I have struggled too – not on economic grounds but on life – and slowly I have grown to be a iconoclast, a person who stands up against wrong doing completely fearlessly – my parents call me a dare devil :) .. Of course for they are worried about me. I don’t like to live a regular illogical life. I don’t like to do things just because everyone does things that way – and I definitely don’t like doing things because otherwise ‘someone’ in the family/society will talk non-sense about you.

I live my life in my terms as much as possible. I want to experiment. See life, feel alive. I spend a lot of time with the less fortunate – I look at the miseries they go thru and feel bad being what I am – suddenly all the comforts I have look meager and small and unworthy. I feel content if I can make a person smile. And if the person really needs the smile, I am happier. I believe everyone needs a smile at all times. A couple of days back I went to an old age home, I loved it. I loved each and every angel there. Beauty at its best. They were miserable (that’s why they are there), but they still took time to smile and talk to people like us with open hearts. Apart from that I love reading good books, I love to write, I love to appreciate beauty, and I love to contemplate and interact with learned people.

Those are a couple of things which I like. But alas, that can not fend for my bread :) -- so I am doing what every regular person does – work.

About me finding what I came to look for in Mumbai, Well, I have not, seemed to have landed up with more questions. :P

Now I want to go to the US and see what people are running after. I want to experience that now. Maybe I come up with some answers, or land up with more questions, :). But that’s also life, and life is unpredictable :) .. It knows no logic, that’s why it is life.

Someone recently asked me if i found what I came looking for in Mumbai, and this is what I had to say.

Hurt the Pain

Its ok to fall out of love.

Has it ever happened that sometimes when you pursue something / someone for so long that you eventually start feeling that you don’t need it anymore?

Slowly the truth seeps in, though quite disbelievingly, that at one point of time when you thought that there was no way you could do without this one thing in your life, now does not affect you.

That sometimes a tiny gesture or even the feeling of possessing it gave you an adrenalin rush but now slowly you cease to feel it.

Not that you don’t feel any thing about it anymore, but its just that it hurts more than it feels nice. Not the thought but the retropection still brings goose pimples on your skin. You feel the slitting pain - like blood gushing out of a deep wound when your skin is pale and cold. Like its drops of blood on a satin white sheet. And you see your life dreams shatter away.

You get disillusioned – you are not sure if you would want to have the desire again, if you would feel the same child like excitement for it again, ever in your life.

But the only constant part of life is that it moves on. It goes on and on, irrespective of how wrecked you feel – how weak you think you have become.

As Robert Frost wrote in a very famous poem of his, “And I have miles to go, before I sleep”.

Whatever happens, happens for a reason - LoL

More on the teachings of the Bhagwat Gita,

It says,

“"You have control over doing your respective duty, but no control or claim over the result. Fear of failure, from being emotionally attached to the fruit of work, is the greatest impediment to success because it robs efficiency by constantly disturbing the equanimity of mind." A farmer is responsible for working his land yet has no control over the harvest. But, if he does not work his land he cannot expect a harvest. "The boundary of one's jurisdiction ends with the completion of one's duty. Do your duty to the best of your ability, O Arjuna, with your mind attached to the Lord, abandon worry and attachment to the results. Remain calm in both success and failure. Such selfless service brings peace and equanimity of mind." (2.48)”

Now, I would take the liberty to question it by asking if it is that we are told not to think of the result and act that would mean that we don’t have a vision and that we don’t know what we are getting into. It means we are doing something with no love/desire for the goal. And is it not human that if we are not passionate about what we want to do / what we are doing, we would not do it well.

It means about accepting whatever we get – even if we do or do not deserve it – that again disillusions the concept of “a fair world” of the “reap what you sow” concept. Why is it that we are treating ourselves like children? Its like we are giving ourselves some condolence by telling ourselves that ‘whatever happened for good’. God damn it!! Is it so difficult to realize that its one of the grossest thing someone can say? No tragedy can be condoled by saying that it happened for good and that one day we will know that even this tragedy had a reason. Oh come on!!

Cut me and I wont bleed?

"A disciplined person, enjoying sense objects with senses that are under control and free from attachment and aversion, attains tranquility. (2.64) An uncontrolled mind distracts the intellect as a storm sways a ship from its path. (2.67) A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desire, that enter the mind, like rivers into an ocean which is ever being filled but is not disturbed by the rivers, can alone achieve peace, not the one who strives to satisfy such desires. (2.70)

Self-realization is to know one's relationship with the Supreme Lord and His true transcendental nature. A Self-realized person does not need rituals to reach God."

The above is picked up from the 2nd chapter of the Bhagwat Gita. Time and again I have been told that the road to peaceful existence is about renunciations – about giving up your desires. If one needs to give up desires that means he has to design himself to stop feeling and if that it what the wise have to say, then what good would be a human being vs a robot?

I am really not convinced by this style of living. And talking of ‘Nothing can move me’ attitude, well I can’t believe that for any normal human being, that there is absolutely no one that he loves. Difficult to even contemplate, forget practicing it.

And we talk of Discrimi-n.a.t.i.o.n

So we awe and make a hue and cry about a fellow Indian being ill-treated and belittled in the country of the whites, are we forgetting something that we practice ourselves in our very own lives. It’s like talking of cleaning the streets when your own house is filthy.

Ok, wondering what I am talking of?? I can be more than sure that almost every Indian has a little something for a fair skin. Come on now; don’t nod your head laterally. If you have not done it yourself, you must either be on the side where there is shade or you may be the kind of person who has the right to flex your neck muscle just till you read the next few lines. Ok, so u don’t lust at the fairer skin and you don’t take a second glance at the lighter tone – lemme believe you. But now think a little more and tell me if anyone from your close circle of friends mocked someone for the way god made him/her, or your mum thought a prospect alliance was not suitable enough for you because she was not light enough for you. And when that happened, what did you do? Did you whack your friend or did you take the pain to correct your mum? I think, NO. So, now can I see those oscillating heads slow down? And if you are still nodding your head left and right, then its nice to have you in this planet, for people like you make this world a better place to live in.

Discrimination is there everywhere. Discrimination is to an extent necessary – but then again it depends what you are discriminating against. Intelligent discrimination is about choosing the company you would like to keep on the basis of mental frequency, intellectual compatibility and definitely not based on skin tone, appearance, wealth, profession and definitely not because of nationality.

All of us learn – I cant say that I never discriminated ever since I was born – ofcourse I did. May be I still do at some places, but what I am learning is that baseless, unnecessary, absurd and cheap. It’s a disgrace to your own intellect and humanism. A man is known by the company he keeps. And if the company is colorful, it yells back aloud.

I hate Love??

Have u ever been in love?
Horrible, isnt it.
It makes u vulnerable, it opens up your chest and it opens up ur heart and it means someone can get inside u and mess u up.
You build up all these defences. You build up this armor for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.
You give them a piece of you, they don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you and then your life isnt your own anymore.
Love takes hostages, it gets inside you. It eats you up and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a single phrase like “its over” or “I don’t love you anymore” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart and gut.
How picturesque.
It hurts. Not just in the imagination, not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love.
I hate love.

---- Niel Gaiman

A heartfull of life.

MICHAEL HENCHARD'S WILL
"That Elizabeth-Jane Farfrae be not told of my death, or made to grieve on account of me. "& that I be not bury'd in consecrated ground. "& that no sexton be asked to toll the bell. "& that nobody is wished to see my dead body. "& that no murners walk behind me at my funeral. "& that no flours be planted on my grave, "& that no man remember me. "To this I put my name.
"MICHAEL HENCHARD"

How do you feel when you read this? Sad? Perhaps yes, but for a moment think of your dying day – what if even you are as miserable and bitter as this man? I am sure you feel much more things now, Petrified, Scared, Choking? I guess all of it. I am afraid truly – I really want to live peacefully and die complete. Break free from the jinx my friends, please shake yourself back to reality, life isn’t only about struggling is all I want to say. Stop for a moment and just think what are you doing? Struggling for what? Survival? I am sure each one of us reading this blog are fortunate enough to be able to get ourselves a decent meal each day. Then what is it that we are dying for? What is it that refrains us from being free and liberated? Why is it that our chest does not swell with fresh air? Why is it that we gape for life? Why is it that we feel incomplete? I don’t believe in God, and there are many who belong to the same league, but then if someone else does not decide for us, why is it that we cant decide for ourselves? Are we so weak on our knees? We make success stories in many a places, but we are a big failure in our life. We have been defeated by ourselves. Including me. Why is it that we love the people who don’t love us back? Why is it that we hope against hopes every time? Why is it that we are exactly where we don’t want to be? Why is it that we are doing just what we hate to do? Why is it that we know all these facts and philosophies and also that time is passing away, but still go on with where life is taking us. Why cant we drive our own car? For once God dammit!! Haven’t we had enough of it? Stop philosophizing people. Wake up to life. Shake yourself people. This is the time – this is the only time. Before you will know, it will be all over. You have failed in love several times, maybe the next time it wont be the same again. Maybe you wont make the same mistakes. Take time. Smile at a stranger. Be friendly to the security guard you conveniently ignore while taking the lift to your home / office everyday. You may be surprised that he may actually know your name! Take time and feed a street dog with a packet of glucose biscuits. Take a moment and touch a baby’s skin who is sitting across the table. Go ahead and tell someone that they look great. I do all this and trust me this is the only life I have. But still somewhere I am incomplete, I feel something is missing and I am honestly trying to get that missing piece of my puzzle of life. I am struggling terribly – I desperately want to start living – but how much ever I read things like “happiness is like a butterfly, if you chase it, it will run away from you, instead just sit peacefully and it will come and rest on your shoulders” – things like this may be true, but only for people who are enlightened enough to sit peacefully in anticipation long enough for the butterfly to actually come! As for me, I am a normal human being, I want to feel, I want to touch, I want to love, I want to be loved in short, I desire. And my desires are not completely conventional – for I already have all conventional privileges, I am born with heightened emotions – my senses are a little too strong – that’s the reason I am miserable but honestly I am fighting, not fighting for survival – but I am fighting to live a life which completes me. I know there is nothing like perfect. But is it incorrect to hope for a near satisfactory or a near perfect life? I guess 'No', or shall I say, I hope No. I have heard and seen a lot of failures, now I am tired. Does someone have good things to share? Something that you do to make yourself happy? Tell me! I want to know. Let us be each others inspiration for planting our own garden instead of waiting for someone to give us roses.

PS. The will was that of Michael Henchard, a character from the novel, “The mayor of Casterbridge”, an magnificently written book by the great novelist Thomas Hardy.

Slow Down Culture : An interesting reflection -

It’s an excellent piece of writing. Read it when you get time. The John Lenin msg in the end of this fwd mail is known by many but understood and practiced by hardly a few. I think many of us take time to think beyond the obvious, who take time to question, to learn, to experience but somewhere we fail to apply what we learn. That includes me as well - I really wish if all of us, along with contemplating could also, for once start living - wisely, if I may put it that way.

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company.

Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalize processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand,debate,debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in another words:

1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.

2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.

3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.

4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.


The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked,"Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business
Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress.

It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy,lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

A road to nowhere?

All of us have done so many things in life -- had so many experiences - mostly bad and some good - but that’s how we are the person we are now -- But I still think that, this
definitely does not mean that we can allow ourselves to get butchered by people and life all the time thinking that its making us better as a person -- I mean after a limit, it is actually foolish optimism if we continue thinking this way.-- There has to be an end to designed sufferings and a there must be a significantly long period about which we can be happy and peaceful about when we look back into our lives on our dying day.

I am very certain that I don’t want to cheat on myself by trying to do 'in/cool/intellectual' things when I know that deep down it does not keep me happy. I don’t want to spend my days in such a manner that when I get into bed and when the entire world is sleeping - I am scared, lonely and miserable.

There is a need and desire in every human being - and its extremely important for each one of us to correctly judge what makes us happy - friends, companion, books, work, wealth, a stylish life -- or maybe all of them in some level -- And if its all of them, which it most certainly would be, then we should try thinking of the most important factor -- for your smile. When you are naked and most vulnerable -- what is it that keeps you warm and helps you gather into the man/woman you are. Unless we know what we want the most, we can for sure not get it -- just because we don’t know about it ourselves.

Recently I have witnessed betrayal faced by me, yet again and a couple of close friends -
was wondering if it is correct to say that "He/She did it to me" - One of my very close friend Sanjay righteously points that, It is not solely the fault of the person who did a wrong doing, instead it is also your fault because, it was none other than You, who allowed him/her to treat you this way - In short, "you called for it".

Let me just pick up something directly from his reply to what i wrote in the first 3 paragraphs of this blog entry (which actually was a part of the email i had written to this adorable man), Sanjay wrote, "Here is where I differ from you. The fact that I have suffered, been betrayed, have cried, have been unhappy; is a part of my life. I will not give all this away for any amount of happiness. I would not have understood the meaning of love, friendship, loyalty and all the tender emotions that make our lives warm if I had not been through these hardships.

There is no denying the fact that all this has also made me cynical. But "jahan main aisa kaun hai, jisko gham mila nahi"! Come on Bubblz, life would have been so fucking boring if there were only happiness to live for.

We are very lucky that we have not got everything in a platter. We really have had to struggle hard and travel the tough road to get things that we really really want, and I am not talking about career and other comforts of life. But at the same time, we should also acknowledge that no one pushed us into these situations. We happily walked into them. Thats how we are Bubblz!

I look at it this way. If first X and then Y and Z would not have betrayed me and screwed me up, I would still have been living with these selfish people thinking they are my friends and would not really have understood, who they actually are and who I am. I would not have come across delightful people like you, A, B, C, D. And now if you ask me, I would never exchange my life where I have these people with the life where I had X, Y and Z. Nevertheless, I am with my present friends because my early life shaped me."

For the sake of privacy, I have used symbols (X, Y, Z, A…) to represent people.

I actually agree quite alot to what Sanjay had to say, but my concern is, for how long should each one of us lead a nomadic life. Will there really be no day when we would feel to be belonging to some place, some home, some one?

I guess everyone has different expectations from our life. I would actually love to know about others expectation of life - what is their deepest of desires? - how much we differ? Can someone share??

Celebrities for a moment

The irony of life is that when we really want to live, destiny plans something else for us. Each individual here is different - each one of us have a different definition of love, wealth, sex, happiness, perfection, success etc. What I mean is that these words are relative – but I believe that it eventually boils down to being content and at ease with oneself – in one word, I would call it being at peace.

Recently I had been to a Trust which works for street children welfare, its called the Salam Balak Trust, in Mumbai. We (a couple of friends from office) along with my little brother, Rishabh (he was luckily here to visit me – and I took him with me for I wanted him to develop compassion towards the less fortunate. – I know that these feelings are inborn, but many a times people realize this when a spark is lighted.), anyway, back to where I was, so, there were these few (8) of us, we packed up some snacks for the party, some gifts to give away and got into those typical Mumbai cabs and set off for that place at Sandars Road. It took us almost 2 hrs to reach – damn this Mumbai traffic, then we finally reached around 4pm to that place. We went into the hall where we saw the group of girls sitting on the floor with their teacher standing in front and teaching those lessons of good living. The moment we entered there was an air of unfamiliarity – I had never been to such a place before – never really lived how it felt to be there. With my own doubts, we found places on the floor mat to sit. Then we had a quick round of introduction, in the intro part we just called out our own names – that’s all. The first name – that was each one of ours introduction, everything else was immaterial – for we had gone there to share some good times and gather some special moments – and not to explore the background of the people we were meeting. There was one person, among my colleagues, who when got to know about this activity, inquisitively asked me of how those people feel, do they behave like normal children, what kind of expectations they have and blah blah.. I kind of did not like the questions; I tried explaining that we had gone to bring a change in the otherwise mundane lives of ours and theirs. And of course they were normal – I mean for heavens sake, they are like regular kids – being less fortunate doesn’t mean that the children have different desires, the difference may be in the level of their wishes, maybe a rich mans child would want to own expensive toys where as the less fortunate would perhaps desire of simple ones. The desires are same – it all boils down to love, care, importance and affection. That’s exactly what we went there to share. To cut the event explanation short, we indulged in playing games, danced with them sang with them, hugged them laughed with them, ate with them, cracked jokes, laughed at their jokes, encouraged them – did everything we would do at a regular get together. What was most heart warming was the readiness with which they allowed us into their space, their paradigm, it didn’t take us long to gel with them and be one amongst them – this openness is in fact is not a very common trait among the fortunate lot. The kids were as innocent as every other child – in one word, they were beautiful. I shall tell you of a cute thing, a young girl came to me, held me by my waist, raised her feet so that she could reach my ears, and slowly whispered, “Didi, pata hai aap Sania Mirza ki terha dekhti ho” .. I was all smiles :), not because she said i looked like Sania Mirza (because I personally have no fascination towards her – not that I don’t respect her ability) but because the way she said it was so damn sweet. I instinctively wanted to give her something – so I just dug my bag and offered her a chocolate and gave her a little peck on her cheek. Honestly, she blushed like a maiden in love :D. You know, at the end of the party when we were leaving, there were a couple of girls who ran to us with a notebook – just to take our autographs!! I mean, can you beat that!! They treated us like celebrities. I owe all my smiles of that day to those children. Shall cherish this day always. We are planning to go to an old age home on Monday, 1st Jan 2007, perhaps I would have more to share.

The practiced party season

Okay, so its close to Christmas, am wondering if we really need a reason – a reason to feel good? I personally feel nothing for any particular festival – just that it means a holiday – and perhaps an extra chance to relax/enjoy an extra day – courtesy - the religion, govt and our companies. I mean tell me honestly would you not really want each day of your life to be special and nice. I have learned that we should just not settle with what life offers us. We must try to buy what we want. There are no rules, only desires. The desires could seem insane to others – at least it happens with me :”). But I know what I want, the only problem is that I don’t know how to get there :D.. I guess all of us have the same problem :) I keep echoing a dialogue from my favorite animation flick “Fining Nemo”, will say that again “Keep swimming. Just keep swimming!!” -- P.S. I wish mumbai was just a lillte colder - doesnt feel like december at all :( .. Dont want to much of it, just a lill colder, or shall i say, alot less hotter :D .. Santa, are you listening .. BTW, is there any santa ??

Ghalib ne kaha hai..

Hazaroon Khwahishien aisi ki har khwahish pe dam nikle
Bohot nikle mere armaan, lekin phir bhi kam nikle.
Nikalna khuldse adam ka sunte aaye hai lekin
Bohot be aabru hokar tere kuunche se hum nikle.

Mumbai Local

Let me site an incident which very recently was witnessed by me. I was traveling in a local train in Mumbai with my father, he had come from Delhi to visit me, when I came face to face with many harsh truths of life - Things that we know but still when we see it right in front of us, a chill runs down our spine. I and my dad got into a general compartment of a slow train which luckily was not too crowded, and we therefore managed to get a place to sit on the uncomfortable wooden benches. Just as I was scanning the people around me, my eyes met with one painfully old man who was seated on the bench next to mine. I would not want to describe the pain his body was going though by telling you about the visible discomforts, because it’s ridiculously scary, but all I would want to site is that death was definitely a better option. I was worried thinking how at all this man managed to board the train and for that matter how he would be able to get off. Finally his destination arrived and he stumbled out with a plastic bag in one hand, a stick on the other with his uncontrollably shaky head. Should this be the fate of any person I thought? Now, the second painful wonder did not take more than a few minutes to appear. This time it was a blind man trying to sell some cheap pens, writing pads, plastic covers etc., in spite of the physical impairment, he did not give up on life and tried making a living, perhaps for himself or maybe for his family. Though he looked dreadfully tired, he still managed to speak his practiced sales dialogues and sold a few things. I also admired and wonder, as well as felt bad at his state of helplessness, when I realized that he is trusting his customers with the money they were giving him to be the correct sum. Shall I say he is helplessly dependent! Can any one of us reading this note remotely imagine a life of permanent darkness? It definitely seems like this is not something that can happen to me. Now, there were a couple of more incidents that happened, all of them I would perhaps not want to put down, but let me just talk about one last scene. The rush in the train had risen a bit and me and my dad had to stand close of the exit gate just to be sure that we can make our way out when our stop comes, that when 2 middle-aged women boarded the train, one was carrying a huge plastic bag full of junk and the other had a small packet in her hand. Their looks suggested that they were rag pickers; anyway, coming back to what I wanted to say is that these 2 less fortunate ladies managed to make their way through the crowd and sat on the floor close to the exit doors - right in front of us. That’s when I was thinking how bad a situation it must be that they feel no uneasiness in sitting on the perpetually filthy floor. Just then, to add to my consciences misery, one of the women laid a packet there and opened up their lunch, it’s needless to talk of the kind of food they were having. Again, can any of us think of spending a day like this? We would perhaps prefer not to eat, than eating filthy grub at an equally filthy place. These were a few sights which I saw on my first, and hopefully the last local train journey in the city of 'lights and riches', Mumbai. Later in the day, I got engaged with the chores of life, but these thoughts somehow were running in the back of my mind. In evening, on our way back to the place we were staying, my dad said that, though uncomfortable, but there was fun and pleasure in traveling in public transports, that’s when I smiled and replied to him saying that, he thinks this way because he knows that the kind of life he lived that day will not be the kind he will live forever. He just looked back with agreeing eyes. Fortunate we are, don’t you think?

Resist Life?

There are innumerable types of people in this world, some are laid back and some are go getters, some work just as much as required while some are workaholics, some people are happy with what they have and some never stop craving for more…. But the saddest part of anyone’s life would be when he/she realizes that they have spent all their life just waiting for life to begin.

What is an ideal life? Well, who knows the right answer to this? It’s as easy or shall I say, as confusing as saying, what isn’t, is ; and what is, isn’t. Idealism is relative, as far as I understand it. Trying to know beyond what is possible is as harmful and vain as trying to work without breaks. It makes individuals less productive, frustrated, fatigued and they start falling into the category of people I talk about before – the kind who keep waiting for the right time for life to start. One really need to think if he wants to get into the mad rush and race for the unknown.

Remorse, death, loss, desperation, hopelessness are all eerie feelings. One should keep away from them. What is important in a relation - the love, the trust, the understanding, the knowledge of each others importance – I guess all of them and almost in that order; or is it about the visible chemistry of complimentary aspects like wealth, status, education, appearance, carrier and a promise of the future – something no one has seen, something one can only wish for and work towards? What constitutes to the goodness of a person, the genuineness, the honesty, the compassion, the attitude towards people less fortunate than oneself, the intelligence, the sense of treating the people who love him, flexibility for happier existence of oneself and for the people associated with him – all this, or is it all about tangible components like wealth, comfort, passion for perfection, lust, casualness, insensitivity, selfishness or ignorance. Why is it that people refuse to accept that time is running out, every minute they live in ignorance, they are losing 60 seconds of life. Time and tide waits for no man, this saying is true and every other person dead or alive knows about it, then why still ignore this? There is most often nothing like a right time, now is the time because you don’t know what the future will be like. The tragedy again, I repeat is that each one of us look at the apparently happier people and think that when I will have all that he has now, I shall be happy. This again is an act of darkness. And for people who say that they can live alone, that they don’t need people around them – they are people who are egoists and unconsciously cause as much harm to themselves as they do to the people who love them. This is an era of rush, everything is disposable, reusable, sellable and available at the throw of wealth, but who has been able to purchase the love of a person, the care of a parent, the smile of a baby, the breath of freedom, the selfless hug that is just is little tighter, the sweetest kiss that’s just lasts just a little longer, a specially cooked dinner, a blanket tuck when u r deep in sleep, the affection you get when u have no fancy things that you now proudly possess. What is it that people want? What is it that you want? The act of resisting life may prove that one is strong, but ask the deepest part of you, don’t you have any desires?

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