Friday, February 16, 2007

A heartfull of life.

MICHAEL HENCHARD'S WILL
"That Elizabeth-Jane Farfrae be not told of my death, or made to grieve on account of me. "& that I be not bury'd in consecrated ground. "& that no sexton be asked to toll the bell. "& that nobody is wished to see my dead body. "& that no murners walk behind me at my funeral. "& that no flours be planted on my grave, "& that no man remember me. "To this I put my name.
"MICHAEL HENCHARD"


How do you feel when you read this? Sad? Perhaps yes, but for a moment think of your dying day – what if even you are as miserable and bitter as this man? I am sure you feel much more things now, Petrified, Scared, Choking? I guess all of it. I am afraid truly – I really want to live peacefully and die complete. Break free from the jinx my friends, please shake yourself back to reality, life isn’t only about struggling is all I want to say. Stop for a moment and just think what are you doing? Struggling for what? Survival? I am sure each one of us reading this blog are fortunate enough to be able to get ourselves a decent meal each day. Then what is it that we are dying for? What is it that refrains us from being free and liberated? Why is it that our chest does not swell with fresh air? Why is it that we gape for life? Why is it that we feel incomplete? I don’t believe in God, and there are many who belong to the same league, but then if someone else does not decide for us, why is it that we cant decide for ourselves? Are we so weak on our knees? We make success stories in many a places, but we are a big failure in our life. We have been defeated by ourselves. Including me. Why is it that we love the people who don’t love us back? Why is it that we hope against hopes every time? Why is it that we are exactly where we don’t want to be? Why is it that we are doing just what we hate to do? Why is it that we know all these facts and philosophies and also that time is passing away, but still go on with where life is taking us. Why cant we drive our own car? For once God dammit!! Haven’t we had enough of it? Stop philosophizing people. Wake up to life. Shake yourself people. This is the time – this is the only time. Before you will know, it will be all over. You have failed in love several times, maybe the next time it wont be the same again. Maybe you wont make the same mistakes. Take time. Smile at a stranger. Be friendly to the security guard you conveniently ignore while taking the lift to your home / office everyday. You may be surprised that he may actually know your name! Take time and feed a street dog with a packet of glucose biscuits. Take a moment and touch a baby’s skin who is sitting across the table. Go ahead and tell someone that they look great. I do all this and trust me this is the only life I have. But still somewhere I am incomplete, I feel something is missing and I am honestly trying to get that missing piece of my puzzle of life. I am struggling terribly – I desperately want to start living – but how much ever I read things like “happiness is like a butterfly, if you chase it, it will run away from you, instead just sit peacefully and it will come and rest on your shoulders” – things like this may be true, but only for people who are enlightened enough to sit peacefully in anticipation long enough for the butterfly to actually come! As for me, I am a normal human being, I want to feel, I want to touch, I want to love, I want to be loved in short, I desire. And my desires are not completely conventional – for I already have all conventional privileges, I am born with heightened emotions – my senses are a little too strong – that’s the reason I am miserable but honestly I am fighting, not fighting for survival – but I am fighting to live a life which completes me. I know there is nothing like perfect. But is it incorrect to hope for a near satisfactory or a near perfect life? I guess 'No', or shall I say, I hope No. I have heard and seen a lot of failures, now I am tired. Does someone have good things to share? Something that you do to make yourself happy? Tell me! I want to know. Let us be each others inspiration for planting our own garden instead of waiting for someone to give us roses.

PS. The will was that of Michael Henchard, a character from the novel, “The mayor of Casterbridge”, an magnificently written book by the great novelist Thomas Hardy.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Slow Down Culture : An interesting reflection -

It’s an excellent piece of writing. Read it when you get time. The John Lenin msg in the end of this fwd mail is known by many but understood and practiced by hardly a few. I think many of us take time to think beyond the obvious, who take time to question, to learn, to experience but somewhere we fail to apply what we learn. That includes me as well - I really wish if all of us, along with contemplating could also, for once start living - wisely, if I may put it that way.

It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company.

Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalize processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand,debate,debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in another words:

1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.

2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.

3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.

4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.


The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked,"Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business
Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress.

It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy,lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

Saturday, February 10, 2007

A road to nowhere?

All of us have done so many things in life -- had so many experiences - mostly bad and some good - but that’s how we are the person we are now -- But I still think that, this
definitely does not mean that we can allow ourselves to get butchered by people and life all the time thinking that its making us better as a person -- I mean after a limit, it is actually foolish optimism if we continue thinking this way.-- There has to be an end to designed sufferings and a there must be a significantly long period about which we can be happy and peaceful about when we look back into our lives on our dying day.

I am very certain that I don’t want to cheat on myself by trying to do 'in/cool/intellectual' things when I know that deep down it does not keep me happy. I don’t want to spend my days in such a manner that when I get into bed and when the entire world is sleeping - I am scared, lonely and miserable.

There is a need and desire in every human being - and its extremely important for each one of us to correctly judge what makes us happy - friends, companion, books, work, wealth, a stylish life -- or maybe all of them in some level -- And if its all of them, which it most certainly would be, then we should try thinking of the most important factor -- for your smile. When you are naked and most vulnerable -- what is it that keeps you warm and helps you gather into the man/woman you are. Unless we know what we want the most, we can for sure not get it -- just because we don’t know about it ourselves.

Recently I have witnessed betrayal faced by me, yet again and a couple of close friends -
was wondering if it is correct to say that "He/She did it to me" - One of my very close friend Sanjay righteously points that, It is not solely the fault of the person who did a wrong doing, instead it is also your fault because, it was none other than You, who allowed him/her to treat you this way - In short, "you called for it".

Let me just pick up something directly from his reply to what i wrote in the first 3 paragraphs of this blog entry (which actually was a part of the email i had written to this adorable man), Sanjay wrote, "Here is where I differ from you. The fact that I have suffered, been betrayed, have cried, have been unhappy; is a part of my life. I will not give all this away for any amount of happiness. I would not have understood the meaning of love, friendship, loyalty and all the tender emotions that make our lives warm if I had not been through these hardships.

There is no denying the fact that all this has also made me cynical. But "jahan main aisa kaun hai, jisko gham mila nahi"! Come on Bubblz, life would have been so fucking boring if there were only happiness to live for.

We are very lucky that we have not got everything in a platter. We really have had to struggle hard and travel the tough road to get things that we really really want, and I am not talking about career and other comforts of life. But at the same time, we should also acknowledge that no one pushed us into these situations. We happily walked into them. Thats how we are Bubblz!

I look at it this way. If first X and then Y and Z would not have betrayed me and screwed me up, I would still have been living with these selfish people thinking they are my friends and would not really have understood, who they actually are and who I am. I would not have come across delightful people like you, A, B, C, D. And now if you ask me, I would never exchange my life where I have these people with the life where I had X, Y and Z. Nevertheless, I am with my present friends because my early life shaped me."

For the sake of privacy, I have used symbols (X, Y, Z, A…) to represent people.

I actually agree quite alot to what Sanjay had to say, but my concern is, for how long should each one of us lead a nomadic life. Will there really be no day when we would feel to be belonging to some place, some home, some one?

I guess everyone has different expectations from our life. I would actually love to know about others expectation of life - what is their deepest of desires? - how much we differ? Can someone share??