Sunday, May 28, 2017

Devils Mistress

This is my first post of 2017..

In fact first after more than half a year.. and what pushed me enough to re-open my blog was a film and its connection to something I watched and wrote about a few years ago.

Its Bank Holiday Weekend in England. While most of London is basking in glorious sunshine, I was watching a film, which turned out to be glorious as well. I guess, being indoors has its benefits.

This story is about the life of Lida Baarova, a Czech actress who peaked her career in Nazi Germany. The story covers her introduction to cinema by her zealous mother, her relationship with the most popular Actor of her time, and then her affair with Nazi confidante Joseph Goebbels. The story then moves to her tragic downfall after Hitler intervened in her affair.

There were times in the film when I thought that Lida was being very shrewd and selfish for using men on the basis of the gift beauty gives a woman -- the power and control beautiful women have over men enchanted with them. For instance, she tactfully used Joseph Goebbels attraction towards her to enable her film career..

While I was was watching the film, I once again realised my own prejudice and shallowness as I observed how deep in my psyche, I treat men and women differently. I saw that while I thought Lida was in the wrong for being receptive and responsive towards Joseph advances while being in a committed relationship with Gustav Fröhlich, which to me was nothing short of a betrayal of trust, I did not think much of Guavas or Josephs betrayal towards their wives.. That sure says something about me -- I am prejudiced and I am part of the problem - I am the same person I dislike..

As soon as I realised I was being anti-woman by having double standards, I reminded myself that I need to keep trying to break the chains of conditioning and free myself of my own misjudgements.

I have never called myself a feminist, in fact I have always been an equalist (that isn't a real word -- but you get my point!), and for the longest time I hadn't been able to relate to vociferous feminists such as the likes of Simone De Beauvoir or Germaine Greer.. but as years go by, I think I am beginning to realise and appreciate them and their work and struggles. I must admit, I am not still fully convinced and haven't yet joined the Feminist tribe, but I think my stance has softened over the years around the need for feminism and the extreme, excessive, often convulsive, views around being a woman.

Incidents like today where I found myself sat in my bedroom judging Lida, a woman who was living in the 1930s without having much, if any, idea of her life and how the world was in general, and women in specific in war torn Europe back then, is very sobering for my ego and pride.

My alarming double standards often stays guised and I forget that I have them. On a normal day I will defend myself till my throat runs dry that I am not an unfair person -- but I caught myself with my hand in the cookie jar -- I was after all judgemental and being very unfair towards Lida by only focusing on her behaving disapprovingly and totally insulating Gustav or Josephs behaviour. I realised, once again, how my brain is trained to think that although social morals are applicable to women and men, but the failure of observing them is most noticeable when a woman is doing it. Needless to say, there is a whole different debate around what really is moral and who decides it .. but lets not go there as then I will never be able to finish the post.

A bit of trivia: Incidentally, Goebbels wife Magda Goebbels, was called the 'bravest mother in Germany' by none other than Hitler himself as she poisoned her 6 children in Hitlers bunker after the war as according to her the world without Hitler wasn't good enough for her children.. well.
You can find my post about that and the related film here.

In short, Lida Baardva had an interesting life. As they say well behaved women never made history. Watch her story in the film The Devils Mistress. Its in german, but there are prints with Subtitles on it .. I watched it on Netflix UK.

Ps. Lidas' sister Zorka has a story too - and I think that story will also be as remarkable as Lidas.. I read there is a book written about her ... I will try and find it.


Monday, October 3, 2016

I have become the girl with a massive massive massive..

.. backlog.

Yeah, have been hibernating since so long, but i do get these feeling every now and again about things. Things I would like to share.

I am a contradiction of sorts. want to say so much, but then I also don't want to. But this post is not about me. Its a start of list of so many things I wanted to write about.

This is the first from that lot. No reason for me to choose this topic over the rest, but lets just say it is a distraction.

A few week ago I was watching late night TV, well not too late night as my TV is not in my bedroom and I generally head 'bed'wards around 11ish .. So, it was a program called 'Naked Attraction' on Channel 4. As the name suggests, it was quite simply naked attraction .. So there is this person stood with the presenter trying to choose a date for herself / himself; and there are 6 people who are trying to win themselves the date. The bit that is different in this set up though is that they begin with their lower bodies exposed and with every round (there are 3 rounds), they keep exposing a bit more -- so 2nd round they expose their upper bodies and in the 3rd round they show their faces as well.. And then in the final round the person who has been watching them naked all along also bares it all and choose the person s/he wants to finally go on a date with.

Saw 2 episodes of this program, and though i cringed, but i kept watching just to see what happens next -- do these pair find the soulmate that they came looking for.. So i watched..

What do you think happened? I am not sure if it takes a TV program to figure out that while physical attraction is an important factor in keeping relationships going, but its possibly not the biggest factor. Plus having a good body possibly works when you are pissed drunk and can't really hear what the person is saying. A good body also does not guarantee good sex.. I guess the 'sapiosexuals' of this world might die watching this!

So yes, I think all of them agreed it was a confidence boosting experience, which I believe it possibly was -- its not easy getting naked in a nudist beach with few naked people around, lets not even begin to assess how nerve raking it must be to get naked on TV where you are being recorded and you can be seen by anyone for years to come with just a click on the computer. So, if you want to test your body confidence and don't mind being seen (I have no problems at all -- to each their own I think), then maybe its a good experience.. However I would still think you don't need a show to prove , yet again, that beauty is more than skin deep my friend.

Sometimes I feel TV channels need to be a bit more creative with their material. Well thats my opinion.. Do we really need these shows?

Oh, I learnt something useful from this show though, it seems there have been scientific studies to show that people with more than a 100 moles on their body age 6-7 years slower than other people. Essentially one can be 30 and look 24. Now that is a great positive.. Especially when one is 40!

With that thought, ta!

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Un Certain Regard..

.. don't quite understand why this category is called what it is.

In 2013 Cannes, the Jury prize winner in this category was a Palestinian film called 'Omar'. It received rave reviews, and I had read one such review which made me desperate to watch the film.. Desperate till I forgot about it.

Was going through some old emails and found an email from January of 2014 with the subject line 'We have to find this'.. And today I finally found it. On Netflix.

It was a gripping film -- its unusual for me to watch a film at one go -- don't get me wrong, I love films and my breaks are not a representation of the film itself-- but sometimes lying diagnoally in the comfort of your bed, sleep takes over. Not with this film .. I am not particularly well, but this film made me sit up fixated and thinking..

Thinking about the complexities and the conflicts in the world -- as I type this, there is possibly an Omar in a jail cell talking to an ant. His bruised hands after he climbed over a very high wall is floating in front of my eyes.. Nadias nod of approval to be married, Amjads betrayal or Agent Ramis manipulation not sure what is more disturbing...

Stellar performance by Adam Bakri. I hear he is being cast by Asif Kapadia, and why am I not surprised.

Very beautifully the director of the film repoints that people have both, the good and the bad within them. And at times the line between the two is very blurred.

This is just not any film.. Watch if you can. Its on Netflix.

The article about the film can be found here.

Monday, March 28, 2016

Making of a terrorist ..

.. Its hard to accept that people are born wicked / cruel.. Why then some people turn to hate and violence in the name of revolution and a just war. How is it that young men and women don't flinch wearing explosives and blowing themselves up in some glorified idea of god and sacrifice.

Be it Ajmal Kasab from 2008, or Shivjit from the film 'Punjab 1984', almost always these young men are subject to unfair personal experiences that get exploited by people who practice the politics of hate, or are conditioned to believe that the world is against them and their people and they need to be the saviour of their own people -- even if this means they will have to kill innocents in the name of some 'holy war'.

One may argue, and I have had this arguments many a times, that the person being brain washed has a 'brain' of his/her own, and therefore should have the intelligence and humanity to understand that there is no bravado or holiness in killing the innocent. I would like to think that its simplistic to classify people who get conditioned into picking up arms against the innocent be to cruel; I think its important to understand why they do it -- possibly because it gives them a purpose to their lives -- a make believe purpose that they are redeeming their people and implementing the will of god.

I am not being a terrorist sympathiser here -- its unfortunate that the people who have turned to terror in the name of jihad or inqualaab or revolution possibly have lost their chance of being able to be distinguished from the fewer true fanatics and hence probably will face the wrath of the world and rightly so. But how can you stop more people from turning into Kasabs and Abdeslams? Surely indiscriminate bombing will not help -- it has never helped .. If wiping out a whole country or waging war was the solution, possibly we wouldn't have had this problem in the first place. If the rich countries like Saudi and America hadn't instated Mujahideens to fight the Russian Invasion of Afghanistan, we wouldn't have had Al-Qaeda. If there was no Al-Qaeda, then there would be no 9/11 and possibly no 'war-on-terror'. If there wasn't any war on terror, possibly it wouldn't have further disturbed the politics of the entire region which finally resulted in civil unrest and uprising in Libya, Egypt, Syria... And possibly if everything was calm in that region, we wouldn't have created a incubation centre for IS to rise from the ashes of Al-Qaeda...

War and indiscriminate killing only causes collateral damage and more hate .. but then how to exterminate people who are the cancer of the society..  Do you just put your finger in the troubled country and give a deadline for all the 'good ones' to escape the country and then bomb the living daylights of the country? But then how can one be sure that the bad ones did not escape in disguise of the good ones? War is surely not the solution.. If it isn't, what is? Maybe, the answer does lie in non-violence / peace. Maybe the situation in this world today is the collective result of the cunning few -  some powerful, greedy, crazy, heartless people -- and just like jesus had to bear the cross for sins committed by others, possibly unless we all bear the cross, this circle of hurt will not end.

Another 'pitiless war' is just going to result in another 'pitiless' suicide bombing. Possibly, its time to stop retaliating and letting the storm pass. They are few, we are many -- they will wear out surely. And once they do, there will be a fair chance that we start afresh with forgiveness and humility. Its surely easier said than done -- people grieved from terror attacks lash back at me saying I wouldn't say it if I were affected directly -- maybe i wouldn't, or maybe I will.. The husband of the lovely french lady who got killed in Paris talked of love not hate. I am sure there are more brave hearts who see beyond their own hurt and dream and wish for a better place for the generations to come. It takes a lot to forgive the killers of the people you love, it possibly time to realise that revenge will only risk more people. War and Retaliation are tested -- it doesn't work. Having said that, people should do all they can to stop and foil terrorist plans and bust terrorist propaganda, but another war and more bombs will only make more terrorists.

Was watching this film called 'Punjab 1984' -- its based on the aftermath of the infamous Operation Bluestar .. Its another shameful history of my country.. The film gets a bit dramatic, unreal and bollywoodish towards the second half; but nonetheless does remind us of everything that went wrong and all the hurt and pain men and women suffer when a few monsters decide to use innocent people as pawns in their foul politics of hatred.

Watch the film here.. Its a punjabi film, but has english subtitles ..

Sunday, November 8, 2015

What a story of survival!

Far from the hollywood idea of a shipwreck, this man shares the story of his life .. Bravo!

Read here: Lost at sea: the man who vanished for 14 months

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Some songs..

.. tell tale ..

In roughly 2 months I will be 33 years old.. and all I have to claim my own are my stories and memories. Some of them are too painful to even repeat to myself. Some let me smile a bit. Some fill me with regret, and some with despair..

They are not fiction -- its real -- unadulterated truth about myself.

Read this somewhere -- "How do you know you are alive if you don't hurt?"

I sure am alive.

Baware se is jahan mein Bawara ek saath ho
Is sayani beheed mein bas hatton mein tera haart ho
Bawari si dhun ho koi Bawari ek raag ho
Bawari si dhun ho koi Bawari ek raag ho

Baware se pair chahe Baware taranon ke
Baware se bol pe thirakna

Bawara Man Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna 

Friday, July 31, 2015


Came across an article listing a collection of indian short films that the author found 'best' in his judgement..

Many of them were indeed nice, though some did not catch my fancy -- but hey, what do i know of cinema. Will leave the critics do their business, but one of the short films that urged me to write about was 'Chai'.

The film has english subtitles, so won't try and explain what happens in the film since it will ruin the fun of watching it .. but it was certainly a strange kind of feeling when i joined the dots and realised that chai (tea shop) was the thread that joined them together.. People and Migrants are same throughout the world.. Everyone is in search for a better life. Its a different thing if they do manage a better life for themselves or not.. But then again, isn't life about the things that you did rather than the things that you didn't do?

Not sure if it was the tea shop bit or it was the Chai itself, or was it the stories of the people behind the tea cups that warmed my heart. Whatever it was, it made me want to get up and make myself some chai. Though it wasn't our desi style chai where we boil our teas with fragrant spices for longer than the 'dip dip dip' routine.. I guess that is reserved for when I go to my mums in India and wake up groggy and 'aunty' brings me a piping hot 'adrak chai' with the days news paper, and asks me 'naashte men kya khaoge?'. 

Watch the film here: Chai

Friday, July 17, 2015

Married At First Sight

Thanks to K, I have found new love in watching TV.. Yes, gone are my 'I don't own a TV days'.. Actually I tell a lie.. I still down 'own' a TV, however, I do have one - borrowed one from my aunt.. But thats beside the point.

Solely because of Big Bang Theory on E4 and Come Dine With Me (yeah.. we all have our guilty indulgences), I am quite thankful to K for bringing TV to my life .. Actually I am quite thankful that he is in my life.. :-) ..

Today I was spending a regular evening at home doing regular nothings -- reading articles on the world wide wed .. oops.. web, with the TV saying empty words in the background. And then Brunos Mars caught my attention.

Married At First Sight (MAFS), is a documentary film produced by Channel 4.. To be fair, UK TV does some great.. sorry, some awesome documentaries from time to time...

MAFS in fewest words is a modern day arranged marriage real life experiment. In this experiment, it seems 1500 singles applied to let science find the 'perfect' match for them. As far as I can recollect, there was a panel of behavioural anthropologist, a psychiatrist and a couple of other 'ists' go over the applicants and their emotional history and then after a whole lot of analysis 'inform' the applicant of their perfect match .. err.. Well they get told the name of their best match. Thats a hell lot of information, isn't it! They then sign up to get married and meet their spouse the first time in the aisle. OMG! Like Really?

Thats probably worse off than how my gran got married .. She at least got to see my gran-dad once before actually tying the knot .. Having said that, I might add that my grandparents spent a happy and committed life with each other and though my gran-dad was quite different from my gran-mum and also quite unromantic, as opposed to her, he did leave behind a single secret love letter for her -- which she discovered after he passed away. Needless to say she cherishes the letter very dearly -- I suspect she has learnt it by heart.. Aww.. I so love them.. <3 p="">
Coming back to this documentary, these 2 sets of couples meet the first time at the aisle and get married. They are supposedly now given 5 weeks to chill out together -- go on honeymoon and live regular life .. And at the end of the 5 weeks, they will take a call and decide to either stay together or get divorced.

I think THIS is the prime distinguishing feature between the 21st century scientific modern day arranged marriage and the rightly frowned upon, traditional arranged marriages. In MAFS you get in it with a reasonable assurance that you have a return ticket with you should you have to use it, where as with the traditional arranged marriages, you get in with the knowledge that this is it -- the way out does not exist and if at all you try looking for it, you might never find it. And I think that makes a hell lot of difference.

TV shows like these confuses the hell out of me -- it makes me question that if science thinks people can be matched and marriages can be made with algorithms, then are the traditionally practiced arranged marriages not all that idiotic and crazy? So were my parents right when they argued with me for years that they can find the best match for me? Well, I missed the boat on that one -- and thankfully so actually .. But I think the answer is that its still idiotic .. specially the current day Indian arranged marriages .. For starts, we don't have a panel of all the 'ists' analysing prospective partners, instead its more like a tick box exercise of all practical aspects like religion, socio-economic status, education and appearance are matched .. And guess what, the elders have made new provisions in the 'great modern arranged marriages' to keep up with the modern day practice of love marriages and advent of live-ins etc, its called 'Courtship'.  Courtship is a collection of spaced out dates and telephone conversations two parties can have before committing to marry!! Well, thats progressive, isn't it! Duh! These dates in my view are futile -- they are practiced exchange of politically correct answers and mostly bears no reflection of the real person under the shiny outside. You might as well not go for them and rather do it the 'proper' traditional way like my grans did.. At least you don't have to deal with the agony and shame of faking yourself.

Statistics say that couples in arranged marriages are more likely to stay together -- but my justification for that statistics is that there are just so many of Asians -- we just win all statistics by sheer strength of our numbers.. [Needly to mention that for most Asians -- Indians / Pakistanis, arranged marriage is the most common way to get married and divorce is still massively frowned upon, hence couples stick it up even if they are unhappy..]

Well, I don't know if arranged marriages actually work better than love marriages or not -- but it surely does not seem like something I would ever be comfortable with .. It just seems wrong and unromantic. For me, I think the promise of a lifelong companionship should come out of drive and enthusiasm laced with sweet spontaneity and a tiny bit of suspense .. It should come from a desire of wanting to experience life with the annoyingly lovely person you just can't live without. It should come from the assurance that when things will go wrong, as it sometimes will, you know they will never be grossly wrong and that you know you both will do your best to work around it and at the least, treat each other with respect and fairness. If that twinkle in the eye is missing or the comforting familiarity is absent, then that suspense and fear of unknown is just too much for me to handle..

I will be keen to see what the two couples on MAFS land up doing eventually .. I kind of suspect that Kate and her husband seem to have great chemistry going and might stay together ... I am not so sure about Emma and her husband (was it James?) .. Thats probably in the next episode ..

Not fun..

.. being asked for ID when you're desperate and have nothing but your house keys and your debit card on you..

Ps. It works when you frown and say 32!
PPs: It doesn't work when you are embarrased and giggly!  

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Words lost forever

Had to share this short documentary I saw today ..

Who Speaks Wukchumni

It seems there are over 7000 different languages in the world with almost 90% of them being spoken by less than 100,000 people .... No wonder so many of these languages are getting extinct and lost. In fact, its believed that 90% of all the currently known languages will be lost forever by 2050. What a shame! :-(

Ps. English is the most widely spoken language after Chinese (Mandarin)..

Monday, January 19, 2015

Reflections ..

.. of the mind .... 

Friday, September 5, 2014

David Lean..

.. did it again. Lawrence of Arabia, Doctor Zivago and today I watched Ryans Daughter.

Wonderfully shot, intricate and so very delicate. Loved it.

Watch it online here and here.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Light in Pongging

A project started by a friend to which I made a tiny contribution is seeing the light of the day.

Feli, one of my fathers student started this project in a remote village in the North East of India where they dont have any electricity as of today, and put forward a proposal for building a little sustainable energy hydro power project which will light up that tiny village. The total estimated cost of the project was surprisingly small, standing just at 3000 GBP, and she and her husband raised it with the help of friends, family and well wishers.

Just today she emailed me with some updates from the progress.. They haven't quite got there, but they are on their way, and it made me feel so nice to just visualize happy faces 'lit' up even when the sun goes down in Pongging..

Life amazes me at every step, it ensures we don't lose the humility to realize that no matter how dark our own lives seem to us, there is some real darkness in addition to other problems that people in other parts of the same world need to deal with -- lots of what seem to just be based on where they were born -- on which no one has any control. The baby of Pongging could have been born at the white house, or in the Ambani household and her life would have been completely different...

We are nothing but a tiny speck in this humongous world with just one gift -- of being able to give -- give love, wealth, smiles, shoulder, forgiveness, good wishes, kindness ... give whatever you can ...

To be fair, most people I know do give or at least have the desire to give, and as my new friend (actually just the other day, he called me his little sister :-)), Gino says, 'we were all born angels, but the world changed us.. And we should protect ourselves from becoming little devils .. because when we sleep, we want to sleep knowing that we made someone smile and that helps us sleep better.'

To be honest, every now and then I start sulking and massively indulge in self pity, while the truth is that if I cant be at peace with what I have and hold, I probably rightly don't deserve it.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Monday, July 28, 2014

If I ever have a child..

.. can s/he be like Alex.. Puhleeezz..

Another fabulous film.. Its German again, 'Good Bye Lenin.'

Sunday, July 27, 2014

An East Meets West....

... Song

Brilliant Film and cute song.. Wish I had the patience to translate the lyrics to english... :-)

Particularly find the push up scene towards the end damn hot!

Daniel wapels

Felt like a teenager when I saw Daniel Waples at Borough Market the other day.... Have worked on numerous designs and calmed myself to sleep many times listening to his tunes, next time if I am lucky to see him again, I must say thanks. 

One of my current favorite here


I love films, and anyone who knows me knows for a fact that a great film gets the weak side of me; it comes second only to the special people (and animals) in my life.

Since the last few week, my enthusiasm to get out and about is a massive low, and so once again, I have taken refuge to films.

Googled a list of top foreign language films and found many that interest me, one amongst them was 'Downfall'.

Downfall is a German film directed by Oliver Hirschbiegel. Set in 1945, this film shows the final days of Adolf Hitler when Berlin was on fire by the Red Army. The film reveals some very disturbing realities of behavioral extremes.

While the full film had many interesting stories in it, however I will mention about two events -- one that I thought was most brutal, and the second that I thought was most bizarre.

The brutal first, the film showed that one of Hitlers loyalist, Joseph Goebbels, a politician in Nazi Germany and close aide of Hitler moved his wife and his 6 children to Hitlers bunker days ahead of the final surrender. His wife, Magda Goebbels, the mother of their 6 young children brutally poisoned each of her children herself, one at a time -- because she did not believe in a future that was not National Socialist and a world without Hitler was not good enough for her children. After poisoning and murdering her children, they both kill themselves. Hitler, before committing suicide himself, presents Mrs Goebbels with a tie pin with the Swastika, and says to her 'You are Germanys bravest mother'. My heart shuddered when I assimilated what I saw -- how can a mother, under whatever spell she may be in, murder her children in cold blood, one at a time. How hard must it be for anyone to do that, let alone a mother. Which then gives me a feel of the often talked about hypnotic influence Hitler had on his people. The fuhrer had created such extreme dependency on himself, that the very thought of not having his leadership rendered the world 'not good enough' in the eyes of his followers who then gave up their lives and killed their loved ones under the firm belief that what awaits them in the future was not even worth giving a chance.

The strange incident now, Hitler got married. Thats not all that strange, what makes it strange is that he got married to Eva Braun a day before they committed suicide together. What can one make of this act? The fact that marriage has always been seen as the 'honor' one can give to a man-woman relationship? That behind the ruthless dictator, there was a man who loved a woman, and wanted to express his love in the last few hours of his life? Maybe even for the sake of history? Whatever the reasons were, one thing is for sure that at the end, every person goes back to basics and wants to hold what's dear to them.

I did not think the marriage was romantic or even necessary at that point, however the fact that Eva chose to stand by the man she loved was painfully romantic when seen without the context of the kind of person Hitler was. And that reinforces the belief, that Hitler did have something special about himself, otherwise you can't explain the loyalty of thousands of Germans even when he had lost all power and dedication could not have been forced.

In the end it doesnt matter how many people left you or committed treason, what matters is who is still with you. The other truth I re learnt is about hope -- whilst under extreme stress and pressure, people lose their ability of rightful judgement, at the same time, most people want to keep the ray of hope alive, no matter how unrealistic that hope is.

The film was wonderful, and I found it online with English subtitles, I am not a big fan of the copyright act, but that aside, I think online viewing is legal as long as you are not downloading and distributing.

If you are interested to watch the film, you can find it here.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Love beyond borders..

Man divides, nature unites. 

I met Hareem today. She is from Karachi, and i am from india; and we meet for the first time today in London. The person who introduced us, never really met her.. And today I did. What odds of that happening!

It was such a wonderful experience. I realise each time I meet people from our subcontinent that we have a unique and special concept of love and bond. Our definition of affection and love transcends borders, time, formula, wealth, history and gender.

We are a truly unique and strange lot. People who don't suffer from the plague of the restrictions of attiquette and manners. We seamlessly overcome the hems and boundaries of our political division, leap what's commonly considered 'appropriate' and settle into informal honest relationships. That's IndoPak for you.

It sometimes feels that the 'right' way more often than not restricts and limits people from reaching out and exposing their true desires and feelings.

It did not take me and hareem to feel like we know each other since years and love and accept each other in our lives. She gave me her own used kajal (kohl) and her stole and I gave her mine. They are all used. They carry our scent and that's what makes it special. The fact that in our first ever meeting we exchanged parts of each other. 

We had some heart to heart conversations, laughed about the weird ways of our countries, grieved about how lovely a dream of 1 nation could've been and then rejoiced about meeting and loving each other.

In midst of all this I thank my little circle of friends who helped me meet all these lovely people in the world.

We face lots of lonliness and pain and deceit in our lives; and we also have moments of love, affection, friendship and wonder. To each their own, but for me, my life's endeavour is to embrace people in my life and share smiles and warmth. It's a short life, will be over before we know it. 

Long back I read a book, it's headline was - 'who will cry when you die'. If you have even a handful, consider yourself lucky. 

Some photos from this evening.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Off late..

.. I seem to think I am much older than what I really am.

In my head I am constantly thinking that I am somewhere around 35 already .. It really takes me a good couple of seconds to remind myself of my true age.

Wonder if I feel tired and hence old, or I just want to quickly get there..

Saturday, May 17, 2014

One from the archives ...

A couple of days back I watched a video where Salman Rushdie had put a very interesting question and his take on the question.

He says that he is in agreement with the popular belief restated by Arndhati Roy on numerous occasions about the cause of the rapid increase in terrorism that the world has seen in the past decade -- that terrorists are born out of injustice. However, Rushdie goed forward to ask a very mind boggling question, that if today injustice the was no longer done on minority communities such as the Muslims, and the global war on terror is stopped, would organisations like Jaish e Mohammad, or the LeT or Al-Quaida cease to exist? He goes on saying that per him, these groups are also about establishing power and superiority. Its about taking the modern world back to the medivial times.

Later in the week, I met a Kashmiri friend of mine who is aware of the ground realities of the very troubled and vulnerable valley. When I talked about what Rushdie had to say, he actually did support his views. He did also agree that the fanatic religious groups were actually also feeding their secret desire to command the world. Kashmir is a land where Sufi Islam is practiced and believed in, so the very characteristic of Kashmiri Muslims is that of peace and love and music. In contrary to the islam taliban sort of groups propagate.

It amazes me how the greed of power can drive people into extreme violence -- I wonder what will make them happy.. what kind of world are they desiring.

Not cornering islamic fundamentalism, I just don't understand any fundamentalism .. I was surprised to see a documentary made by a friend, 'The world before her' which uncovered rhetoric hindu fundamentalistic ideas being indoctrinated into the mind of young girls..

Allergic to NaMo ..

Indians seem to have gone bonkers with Modi hysteria on social media. While I think it's time to maintain 2 minutes of silence to mourn the death of secularism and equality. Don't want to be a part of the agenda of making or calling india a Hindu nation. Makes me sick.... I will struggle to not take my friends support of NaMo too personally. 

Monday, May 5, 2014


Har kisi nu mukammal Jahan Nahi Milda


हाजी लोक मके नू जांदे
मेरा राँझा माहि मक्का, नी मैं कम्लिया।

पढ़ पढ़ इल्म हज़ार किताबां,
कदी अपने आप नु पढ़ियाँ नहीं।
जा जा वर्दे  मंदर मसीती,
कदी मन अपने विच् वर्या नहीं।।

ऐंवे लड़ना रोज़ शैतान दे नाल बंदया
ते कदी नफ़्ज़ अपने लरया नहीं।
आखें पीड़ बुल्लेह शाह आस्मानी पढ़नाए
जेड़ा मन विच बस्दा नु पढ़या नहीं।।

नी मैं कम्लियां।।

Sunday, April 20, 2014


.. is where I come from.

Mera desh, mera gaon.

One of the..

.. first 'fat' books that I ever read was Anna Karenina.. One of Mr. Tolstoys greatest book..

Dont know why this quote which I had read on the first page of that book if floating in my mind since morning..

It read, 'Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.'

Was having a discussion with my cousin today, and we talked of the book.. The story, if you know, has a complex structure to it.. Is laced with love, lust, deceit, honor, pride, poverty, opulence and grandeur and many many more things.. We were discussing how books from that era were remarkably similar and reflective of the oppressive times these writers lived in ... People like Tolstoy, Kundera .. never had it easy and it reflects in their stories of fiction... Some of the greatest stories ever told ..

Anyway, went for a run this morning and once again twisted my ankle and am bed bound for this long awaited, finally here, but crap bank holiday weekend. So typical.

I better learn to laugh at this.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Tagore by Ray

Came across this documentary film on Rabi Thakur made by Satyajit Ray.

Its really well made and informative.

Somewhere in the middle of the film they sing a song while on a protest march in Kolkata, marched in opposition to the idea of division of bengal. I really want to know what song is that. Its beautiful .. If anyone can figure it out, it will be great.

At times like these when there are a dearth of things to be proud of in India, these films help remember that India was once a great country.