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I was reading a book today and it again made me realize that I was being a stupid self centered person who was so contained whining under self pity until I was made to come face to face with reality yet another time.

The book I was reading was greatly about Afghanistan, about Kabul, and how life changed for the people after the atrocities first done by the Russians and then the Talibans.

It is hair raising to read how an entire civilization got washed out -- how the already scared, defenseless and oppressed people were and still are, being subjected to inhuman treatment. It is so disheartening to think how the rejoicing of the Afganis turned into mournings when the talibs took to their way of controlling an already devastated nation soon after the roussies were made to leave after creating much damage themselves.

They say that many women have lost their husbands, fathers and brothers, and since they are not allowed to work, they are left with no option but to survive on alms collected my their children or just be on the mercy of the Talibs. The people who grew up eating meat can no longer think of affording a stomach full of meal for everyone in the house. A mutilated dead body is common there -- the children are growing up watching violence and are deprived of all childlike innocence. They are being raped -- not even the little boys and girls are spared. And then the Talibs roar that they are doing what they do in the name of Allah!! Fathers are selling off their artificial limb just to get enough money to feed their hungry children. The learned men and women, who were once professors imparting education to the children of Kabul were now on the streets -- homeless and hungry.

And then there are people like me -- aware but still so oblivious of this for a large duration of our day, and instead we spend it on ghamkhori (self pity) and thinking how unfair out lives are. Even as I write this post, or even as one of you read this on something called a Computer, there are people in this world who have not heard or perhaps have not even cared to hear that something like a PC exists -- people who's lives revolve around just surviving another night and if lucky, get a meal to even partially fill their shrinking stomach.

I was thinking of what subject I should give to this post, and I really could not think of anything that could define what I am feeling right now, so I chose to leave it blank.